Inengi labantu lizahlaselwa yikugula ngezempilokahle yengqondo ekuphileni kwabo, ukungaphili kuhle engqondweni kubangelwa yizizatho ezinengi ezitshiyeneyo.

Angeke sihlale sisazi ukuthi kuyini okubangela  ukungaphatheki komuntu kwezempilakahle zengqondo, kodwa okuvamileyo ukubangela zinkinga lokukhathazeka ngezinto ezitshiyeneyo ezenzakala empilweni zisenzeka zingakhangelelwanga ziphongukuvumbuluka. Okunye kubangwela yizinto eziyabe zilesikhathi zilimaza umuntu kodwa zingananzelelwa. Kubantu abanengi imbangela yizinto ezinengi ezitshiyeneyo.

Lezi zingagoqela:            

-Ukufelwa ngumuntu olobudlelwano obuseduze laye            

- Ukuswela imali kumbe indawo yokuhlala

- Ukulahlekelwa ngumsebenzi kumbe ukungasebenzi

- Ukuhlukunyezwa okugoqela emacansini, loba nje, ukubandlululwa, ukwethuselwa    

- Isizungu                             

- Ukugula okwesikhathi eside

Ukungadli lokulala kuhle kuyaphambanisa impilakahle yengqondo. Ukunatha utshwala kakhulu, lokuthatha izidaka mizwa kuyaphambanisa loba ukuthatha okudakayo kuyisitshengiselo sokuthi vele lukhona uhlupho thize oluphambanisa ingqondo.

Uchwayisiso lutshengisa ukuthi ukungaphatheli kuhle engqondweni kukhona ezimulini ezithize. Kodwa akuveli kuhle ukuthi kungenxa yegazi lemuli yonaleyo kumbe kungenxa yekuma kwendawo abahlala kiyo, okubangela ukuthi amalunga emuli alandele ukucabanga, ukuphila kanye lendlela yokufunda izinto ezimbi abazibona esigabeni sabo.

Kufanele sinakekela impilo kahle yengqondo impilo yethu yonke. 

Nxa umuntu ephatheke kubi engqondweni kumbe elenkinga enkulu eyokugula ingqondo kunzima ukulinganisa ukuthi angasila ngemuva kwesikhathi esingakanani. Kuyatshiyana ngabantu langokuthi isimo abakiso sinzima okungakanani. Okunye ukungaphili kuhle engqondweni, kuyaphela masinya, okunye kubayimpilo yomuntu yonke. Kodwa kuyavuma ukuthi umuntu asile ekuguleni imikhuhlane yengqondo njalo abanengi bayasila, ikakhulu ngemva kokuthola ukuncediswa. 

Kuqakathekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ukuze umuntu asile luhambo, njalo kuzahamba kusiba lemigoqo kwezinye indawo. Kwabanye abantu ukusila kudinga ukuthi bengabuyeli empilweni yabo endala kodwa badinge indlela ezintsha ezokuphila besiya phambili, kanye lokuthatha amanyathelo lezinqumo zokuthi iznto ekade zibehlula bazibambe mathupha babhekane lazo.

Abanye abalohlupho lempilakahle yengqondo bengasila kodwa bananzelele ukuthi uhlupho olufanayo luyaphenduka futhi. Kodwa nxa sebethole indlela thize zokunqoba isimo leso, kumbe ukwelatshwa okuba sebenzelayo, balamathuba angcono okunqoba izimo ezimbi lokuqhubekela phambili ngempilo konke kubuyele esimeni esihle.

Ungeke uphoqelele umuntu ukuthi adinge usizolomkhuhlane  owokuhlulukelwa lokudana kanye lokulahla ithemba kakhulu nxa yena engafuni. Kodwa ungabazisa ukuthi kuhle ukucela uncedo. Kwesinye isikhathi kubanzima ukuthi ungamxhwayisa njani umuntu okusimo esinjalo. 

Lezi ngezinye indlela ongazisebenzisa ukuthola amangena kanjani:

- Ngiyaxolisa ukuthi uzizwa kanje, ngikhona ukukwekeleka. 

- Uqhuba njani? 

- Kuyini engingakuncedisa ngakho namuhla?

Abantu ngokutshiyana kwabo badinga usizo olutshiyeneyo, kumele ubuze ukuthi kuyini okungabasebenzela. Abanye badinga uncedo ngezinto zansuku zonke, okugoqela ukudinga inhlelo ezikhona, ukubaphelekezela ukuyathola usizo, kumbe ukuncediswa ukukhangela abantwana bona besenza okunye. Ukumncedisa ukuthola indlela elula  yokwenza imisebenzi yangekhaya ekhanya inzima kuyancedisa. Umzekeliso, ungabancedisa ezifundweni zabo kumbe ekwenzeni impilo yabo yansuku zonke ngekhaya ibe lula. 

Abantu abanengi balobunzima bokuchasisa ukuthi bazizwa njani. Kumele ubazise ukuthi kuhle ukuxoxa uhlupho lwabo nxa bekhululekile. Konke abakutshoyo kuwe uzame ukulalelisisa ungabasoli. Ungakuthatha lula uzibuza ukuthi kuyini okunzima umuntu okumlimazayo kusimo asitshoyo. Kodwa ayisiyi indlela isifo sengqondo sokuhlulukelwa lokudana kanye lokulahla ithemba kakhulu esilula ngakhona. Ungambambi ngamandla umuntu ukuthi akhohlwe ngesimo abhekene laso ngoba wena ubona kulula. Ngoba vele bathwele nzima ngokuzisola lokuzidla ngesimo sakhe.

Nxa umuntu lowo engafuni  ukuxoxa ngodaba lwakhe mcedise ukwenza izinto ezitshiyeneyo ezingancedisa impila kahle yakhe yengqondweni. Lingahamba hamba liselula inyawo, kumbe umsebenzi othile lonke kumbe ukuhlala endlini lapho okulokuthula lonke. Ungahlalahlala ukhulumisane laye umazise ukuthi ukhona wena nxa edinga usizo. Ukubhekana lohlupho lomkhuhlane owokuhlulukelwa lokudana kanye lokulahla ithemba (depression) kakhulu kunzima njalo kuthatha isikhathi. Kudinga ukuthi ubekezele. Kumele ukhuthaze ngokuncoma amanyathelo abawenzayo loba emancane ukuthi babuyele esimeni sempilakahle yengqondweni.

Indlela zokuncediseka ziya  ngokuthi umuntu uhlala ngaphi. Kodwa engaqala ngokuya ku Dokotela ongamlayela kungcitshi ezikhangela ngezempilakahle yengqondo ukhansela kumbe indawo ezipha uncedo olunjalo. Bangaphiwa ama philisi alwisana lomkhuhlane owokuhlulukelwa lokudana kanye lokulahla ithemba kakhulu nxa kulendingeko.

Ungakhangela futhi ebulenjini nxa kule qembu loba inhlanganiso elabantu  abangahlanganela lalo kuzifundo ezincedisayo. Kwezinye indawo kulenhlanganiso ezincedisayo, kungabakuhle nxa ungadingisisa loludaba. 

Ukubalempilakhle eqondileyo yengqondweni kutsho ukuthi umuntu uyazinakekela njalo ulobudlelwano obuhle labanye abantu. Umuntu wakhona uyakholisa impilo, imizwa yakhe uyayibamba kuhle njalo uyenelisa ukubhekana lezinto ezihlukumeza umoya wakhe ngendlela enhle. Njalo uyaphatheka empilweni yansukuzonke, uyenza izifundo kuhle, asebenze njalo anakekele umzimba wakhe.

Ukuba lempilakhle yengqondweni engalunganga kutsho umuntu ohlala ecabanga, olemizwa emibi lezenzo ezibisela impilo yakhe emuva. Umuntu wakhona uthwala nzima ukubamba imizwa yakhe ngendlela enhle, uzizwa ekhulelwa yizimo ahlangana lazo kubangelwa yindlela abacabanga ngayo lokuzizwa ngayo ngezimo abazibonayo. uyazikhetha kubangane lemuli yakhe njalo uzizwa engasimuntu walutho.

Ukuzizwa uphelelwa lithemba, uphelelwa ngokokwenza,ukwehluleka uku zimisela ekwenzeni into ethize, ukwehluleka ukudla kanye lokulala kuhle zimpawu zokungabi lempilakahle yengqondweni eqondileyo. Ukuba lemicabango yokuzibulala kumbe ukuzilimaza kukhomba ukuba lohlupho lwempilakahle yengqondweni olukhulu kakhulu.

Lezi ngezinye zezimpawu ezingakhomba ukuthi umuntu omutsha engabe elohlupho lwempilakahle yengqondo. Kunzima  ukunanzelela ukuthi umuntu omutsha ulohlupho lwempilakhale yengqondweni. Kungenzeka bangafuni ukukuveza lokho kumbe engananzeleli ukuthi ulohlupho olunjalo. Kodwa ungananzelela ukutshintsha kwendlela aziphatha ngayo nsuku zonke, kumbe engaqala ukwenza izinto ezingalimaza abanye kumbe zilimaze yena kungabe kuyisitshengiselo sokuthi kulohlupho thize.